By Mohini, who works as a nurse and is interested in supporting nurses to work with death and dying
You’re never going to be prepared for it. There will be various deaths you witness. Some sudden, others expected. You know from the day you embark on your training that experiencing death is inevitable, but you will never fully know how to process the loss of a patient. I wish I was taught about it more at university.
You will more than likely be caring for multiple patients when another patient dies. Although you aren’t a superhero or superhuman you will find it in you to continue to answer the phone to relatives, liaise with the MDT and care for your other patients with a smile on your face but a sadness in your heart.
Depending on your area of work, the amount of time you’ve cared for the patient and the relationship formed with them will make their death unbearable. You will catch yourself staring at the bed space they were in for some time, sharing anecdotes of their time on the ward between colleagues. After all, they do become a part of the team. There are some names you will simply never forget.
If the family invites the nurses to the funeral, they genuinely mean it. The families appreciate that in the end, you become a version of family to their loved one and to them too. If appropriate, attending the funeral will help with your grief and provide you with closure. Yes, we are nurses, but we are also human.
Last offices almost gives you the time you don’t get to process and mourn the loss of the person. It’s difficult to explain unless you’ve been there, but caring for the patient after death, with respect and dignity in the quietest moments after they have departed the world is the most honourable ritual you will perform as a nurse.
About Mohini Bhatt
”I am a 27 year old registered nurse who has worked mostly in haematology and oncology care settings in the NHS and overseas since qualification. I have recently relocated to Australia for work. I am interested in how nurses are educated about coping with death as this was a brief classroom conversation during my studies. This prompted my dissertation topic: Interventions to help nurses cope with compassion fatigue in end-of-life care settings. I have worked for many years on wards where patient death is inevitable and happens often. I care about how my colleagues and I process this - as this ultimately affects how we grow as nurses. I am passionate about nurses sharing their experiences of dealing with death at work so that people understand what we are exposed to. But also, to encourage more nurses to feel confident in voicing when they are feeling fatigued and burnt out in hope of initiating more educational support being available pre and post-registration in coping with death and dying.”
You can contact Mohini on Instagram.
