By Rosie Szumowski, whose mum died in March 2018
Going through cancer is confusing and unfair. My mum got very unwell during treatment so couldn’t be at work. She wasn’t entitled to any financial benefits but was the breadwinner in the house. We were poor whilst she was in treatment.
Once the body starts to deteriorate, it is shocking how different your loved one will look. It is painful to see your favourite person wither away from themselves.
The way that death is depicted in the media, TV and films is so far from the truth, it’s almost insulting. Mum did not slip away peacefully whilst perfectly propped up in bed with each loved one holding a hand. I will never be able to forget the image of my mum’s dead face.
Unless people have been through the same situation, they will never understand how this grief feels. Their sympathy will feel empty because they can’t imagine the magnitude of the loss you’re feeling. It can be really frustrating.
Grief doesn’t happen at one time. You could go for weeks feeling really good, then one small insignificant thing will appear and you’re heartbroken all over again.
About Rosie Szumowski
“My mum passed away in March 2018 after a stage 4 diagnosis in November 2017. She was 54. She hasn’t been there to see me get promotions, graduate, or properly know the love of my life. I ran the Race for Life in her honour in 2019, and raised £1200. I try to include her memory in everything I do, and reach out to/connect with people who have been bereaved because let's face it, it’s pretty shit.”
Rosie has started a blog, Feeling Sueless, about how she’s coped with the death of her mum. You can also follow Rosie on Instagram.
