Hi. My name is Grace and two years ago I lost my incredible and amazing Dad, Dave, to cancer. He was 56. My dad was nothing short of brilliant. He was so much fun, wise, caring and just lit up the room with his personality and humour. I will forever miss and love my Dad but I feel lucky to be his daughter. My brothers George and Charlie held a hugely successful charity football match in December 2019. Over £2400 was raised in my dad’s name for The Bobby Moore Fund. We intend to continue this yearly.
Grief is a process that I have struggled to understand, writing this short blog has been such a therapy.
Five Things I feel two years after my dad passed away from a short battle with cancer:
1. Scared
Sometimes I am afraid of things that remind me of him. My dad was a huge fan of music and introduced me to so many bands and songs. We also both regularly went to the cinema together, he would recommend films to me all the time too. I am really quick to turn the radio off if one of ‘his songs’ comes on and I won’t watch the films we saw at the cinema together again yet. I think I do this because I am scared of getting sad. I hope this changes one day.
2. Grateful
I feel so lucky to have had such a close friendship and bond with my dad. He just got it! He got how to be Dad to a nightmare teenage daughter; he got how to be a ‘cool Dad’; he got how to be the dad on the side of every football match that my brothers had; he got how to look after and love my mum, my brothers and I. He fully got how to go through life enjoying himself and working hard all at the same time, and that was just wonderful to learn from!
3. Different
You will never ever be the same person you were again after losing someone so close to you. I spoke to my dad daily for his advice, wisdom and friendship. I know that when something good or bad happens to me now, my go to person to share this with isn’t here to answer the phone anymore.
4. Loved
I feel my dad’s presence and love daily, even though he isn’t here now he gave out so much love during his life I feel still surrounded by it, it’s quite a bittersweet feeling.
5. Anger
Grief is a bizarre feeling and doesn’t always start as the person dies. For me it started when my dad was diagnosed as terminal. He no longer was able to be him because of what the cancer was doing to his body. In spite of this he was incredibly strong, stoic and considerate to his family and his friends throughout his illness. He quite simply was a wonderful person so why would this happen to him, that will baffle me and anger me forever.
You can follow Grace on Instagram, and donate to the Bobby Moore fund here
