By Steph Galvin, whose fiancée died from an aggressive leukaemia
1. You will never be prepared. It doesn’t matter how much you held each other and cried, how many conversations you whispered to each other late at night; the aftermath of their death will hit like nothing else.
2. Every emotion is valid. Allowing myself to truly feel my feelings helped immensely. Desperation, anger that it was us, heartbreak, isolation and numbness. Also appreciate those moments that bring genuine smiles and the alien sound of laughter. Acknowledge your feelings, they’re all allowed.
3. Grief isn’t just missing them. You mourn so much more. It’s the life you had with them, the potential life you were going to have, even who you were before the loss.
4. Time really does help. It didn’t magically heal me like I thought it would, but I’m able to build a new life for myself. I’ve started new jobs, friendships, relationships and hobbies and can still continue to remember and love her.
5. It has changed me forever. I’ve now lived without her for longer than we were together and I still grieve. Loving her and losing her has shaped me and I will continue to live a life she would be proud of.
About Steph Galvin
Steph & Porge met in January 2017. Porge was diagnosed with an aggressive leukaemia in September 2017. During her year of treatment, they got engaged. Porge died in September 2018.
You can follow Steph on Instagram, @stephmgalvin.
