By @allthingsgrief
1. We never really mean it when we tell our parents we wish they were dead, no matter how angry we are at them. I really thought at that moment I wanted him out of my life forever but once it came true, I was overwhelmed with guilt and regret. I had a complex relationship with my dad but I still loved him and he did his best. The pain I experienced in our relationship was nothing compared to the pain of losing him, I really wish he wasn't dead.
2. I've learned to not sweat the small stuff. The fact of the matter is, my life changed forever unexpectedly when my dad died, it made all the arguments we've ever had not important and trivial. I couldn't even remember why I was angry at him. You just never know when a conversation or interaction with someone will be the last time, make it count.
3. Parents are a gift we borrow from the earth, as we are busy growing up, they're doing their thing growing old. Having only one living parent left at the young age of 24 has taught me to be more patient, kind, and appreciative of my mum. I hug her tighter, and laugh with her more. I really took having a dad for granted and I don't want to make that same mistake with my mum.
4. You never move on from a loss, you just learn to live with it. Grief is like a shadow, it is a part of me and goes wherever I go. It's there when I'm doing the dishes, out to dinner with friends or even while I sleep and navigating grief is so extremely mentally taxing and exhausting.
5. The biggest take away from my experience is that death is the only thing promised to us in life. We will all die one day and have no say in the matter. However, what we do have a say in is how we choose to spend our time on this earth and more importantly the people we allow into our lives. I've lost so many relationships over the last year as a result of my grief because they were unsupportive and I decided to be brave and close off my personal bubble to the people that truly matter.
You can follow @allthingsgrief on Instagram.
