By Ava Glemming, whose dad (photographed above) died when she was a teenager
Your friends won’t understand. My dad died when I was in 8th grade, and I felt like the only one with a deceased parent. My friends didn’t know how to comfort me. Sometimes they said things that weren’t very helpful, or they made insensitive jokes. However, I had a couple good friends who were just there for me, and that helped.
The future is daunting. It’s hard to want to live a life without my dad. I know he won’t be there for important moments in my life, like my high school graduation or my wedding.
Jealousy is normal. Sometimes I get jealous of my friends who still have their dad. I used to never get jealous pre-death, but now I do occasionally.
You might not get much of a say in the funeral affairs. When my dad passed, I was asked which of his things I wanted. I’m extremely grateful for what I do have, but I am upset I never was asked to go through his things with the rest of my family. My dad was cremated, which was so he could be split between my family, but I really wanted him to be buried so I could see a physical marker. We also scattered his ashes, even though I wish he could’ve stayed in one place.
I frequently have dreams about my father. At first they were very troubling, scary dreams, but they changed over time. Now I usually see him or feel his presence, and it isn’t scary or anything. He’s just there.
About Ava Glemming
”My father, Eric, died suddenly on January 30th, 2018. He was born on January 6, 1972 in Fargo, North Dakota. During his youth, he lived in Tower City, North Dakota; Milton, Florida; and Plymouth, Minnesota. He loved camping and cooking, which he made his living out of. He provided warm meals to many while managing a soup kitchen at ‘Let’s Help’ in Topeka, Kansas. His favorite part about that job was hearing the people’s stories.”
