By Wendy French, whose niece Rachael died in a bike accident
Know that the pain never goes away and time is not a healer but the pain grows more manageable and finds a place in your body where it can more comfortably rest.
Never stop talking about the person, even in the present tense, if it helps, as though they are still alive. They are, for you, forever present.
Laugh about them and the mischievous things they did.
Do not wear guilt like an old cardigan. Children have to be reprimanded from time to time but always remember the times you comforted them and showed them love.
And always remember they loved you and you loved them. That love can never be taken away. We are all mortal.
About Wendy French
Wendy’s niece Rachael was killed when she was knocked off her bike in London. Rachael had worked with Wendy just before she was due to begin her teaching career in a London secondary school. Wendy loved Rachael like a daughter. The pain of her death is a distress that will never go away but has now been lodged in a more comfortable part of Wendy’s body. She finds that reading and writing poetry is a solace and guiding others to write is a privilege and reward.
Wendy has worked with people in distress for many years. She worked with families who felt they’d lost their children emotionally through mental illness in a small school in a psychiatric hospital. She left her role to work as a writer in healthcare settings and has worked for many years with UCH Macmillan Cancer Centre, leading writing groups for patients and carers. She is about to start a project with a visual artist at Maggie’s Centre, part of the Royal Marsden Hospital in Surrey.
You can read more about Wendy on her website and follow her on Twitter.
