By Natasha, whose sister died from Sudden Adult Death Syndrome at the age of 19
Natasha and her sister Sophia
1. Sudden death is shocking
My sister went to bed as normal, and then the next morning she didn't wake up. It leaves you feeling so dazed and confused. Years later I still shake my head in disbelief.
2. Grief is complicated
"No-one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear" - C.S. Lewis
Grief isn't just about missing the person you've lost. It can make you scared for the future. If something traumatic has happened once, what's to stop something happening again?
3. It's good to let your thoughts and feelings out
Give yourself a chance to process what's happened and address any fears you have. Talking helped me so much. Speak to people you're close to. Write in a diary. Listen to music that moves you. Give yourself some space and have a good cry. Consider therapy if it feels right for you
4. They live on in you
All the memories I have with my sister have stayed with me, and are mine forever. You can re-live happy times, you can imagine how they might react to things based on how you know them, what wise advice they might give you. Sometimes it feels bittersweet. If you can, focus on the sweet. Embrace the reminders. Talk about them. Think about them. Include them. Miss them. Celebrate them. It can take you from "it's not fair they're not here anymore" to "I'm really glad they were here".
5. You'll find your way
Life keeps going. And ultimately that is what keeps us going. After feeling lost, and really scared, I have found a way to live again. I have joy in my life, more than I could have imagined back then, and I'm very grateful.
About Natasha
Natasha's sister, Sophia, died from Sudden Adult Death Syndrome at the age of 19. In 2012, Sophia's family and friends raised over £20,000 for Cardiac Risk in the Young. The final total was revealed on what would have been Sophia's 21st birthday.
Natasha lives with her husband and baby in the Cotswolds.
