By Chantal King
1. Grief has a mind of its own. It cradles you hard in the middle of dark restless nights. It cracks once-seemingly-inappropriate jokes to lighten the heaviness of mood. It screams blood curdling screams that shake the fibres in your bones. It cries subtly and it wails. It remembers things that seemed lost. It forgets things that seemed unforgettable.
2. Grief does not operate by time. The date our loved one died is irrelevant because there is no such thing as time according to the soul, there’s only NOW. Grief is always NOW. And right now, we can’t see them, touch them, hold them, hear them. If grief is like the ocean, it matters not what time you entered, or how near to the shore you are, or how adjusted you are to wading in the deep blue sea, because loves, we are all in the fuckin ocean and it’s terrifying and there are monsters in here with us, the waves care not about how long you’ve been in the water, there are no rescue boats coming to save us, only more people keep crowding the ocean, and we cannot save each other, just keep each other company as we try to keep our heads above water.
3. Grief is strange. It pushes you to talk about your loved one so your loved one can find ways to still live on. It pulls you into isolation so you can fully feel the weight of this loss and how it specifically affects you. It nudges you to numbness so you can find some reprieve from the permanent devastation. Grief sways like a Siamese twin taking turns going along with you then pushing against you to qualify its independence.
4. Grief is holy. It excavates riches from within you, pouring out vulnerability like gold, providing you with never-seen-before jewels. It holds you close, as close as you imagine you would hold the one you lost if given another chance. Grief is sacred, raw, vulnerable. It is a demanding invitation for connection and authenticity.
5. Grief changes you. It stretches your arms so you can wrap around your loved ones tighter. It widens your eyes so you can see others more clearly. It expands your heart so you can love harder and deeper. It loosens your lips so you can be sure to say what you mean leaving nothing left unsaid. It slows down your breath so you can make the most of each minute you have left. It reminds you that now is all we really have. It shifts underneath you, like tectonic plates, causing eruptions and disasters, and forever altering what lies above. It disrupts the foundation and permanently dismantles that which once was.
About Chantal King
Chantal, the Grief Ambassador, is the creator as well as the designer, writer, speaker, grief advocate, and space holder of Grieve Me Alone. Chantal is the main voice on the Grieve Me Alone podcast which features radically honest thoughts, feelings, and stories involving grief. Chantal is also the creative mind behind the writing and designs of one of the most unique grief-related merchandise lines on the market today. From her journey of loss to yours, Chantal puts lots of love and energy into each design and hopes that together we can change the world’s perceptions of, and relationship with, grief.
Chantal is currently working on her second book (which is expected to be released in the summer of 2020) and is in the process of expanding Grieve Me Alone to include retreats, events, care packages, and whatever else tickles her griefy fancy.
www.grievemealone.com
You can follow Chantal on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook - @grievemealone
