I lost my best friend at the beginning of March 2020. We'd been inseparable friends for 12 years.

1. The day it happened I felt like everything should stop. People shouldn't have been driving, working, going to the pub. Time should have paused.

2. After the first day I felt guilty for crying but feeling emotionless... then at the funeral, it sank in that she was really gone. I was asked to choose music for it, and music was such an important part of her life, so it felt like a very personal and true goodbye.

3. Now it's sunk in, so has a feeling of loneliness. We spoke everyday, about how she was, me asking her for advice, or just enjoying her fantastic humour and making plans. Anything that reminds me of her hurts - even Halloween, and her birthday was heart-wrenching.

4. I'm upset not just about the past; wishing I could have kept her safe... But the future: we wanted to plan each other’s weddings, had holiday ideas, and wanted to help decorate when the other moved house. I relied on her honesty and advice so much.

5. I wish so hard that I could bring her back and tell her how much I love and need her, or hear her laugh. She made so many people laugh, and helped them during times they were struggling.

Five Things is a collection of the five things our collaborators want you to know about life, death and everything in between. Over the next few months, we’ll be covering illness, dying, death, funerals, grief, heartache, adversity and many other topics. If you’d like to write your own Five Things, please get in touch.